“What am I in the eyes of most people — a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person — somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then — even if that were absolutely true, then I should one day like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart." - Vincent Van Gogh|
My "dream" is to become a Concept Artist(and manga art to a lesser extent), to be able to portray illustrations and paintings of an at-least acceptable/recognizable skill/level. Works of such level/skill that will invoke hope in those that come after me (if i succeed) that they can do the same. Art is my Road to Damascus.
In this bloody struggle, if i succeed, My Hope and Goal is to inspire others that achieving their dream is possible, if even a subhuman failure as myself manages to succeed, to give the hope to others that i myself have lacked. I am committed to showing that anyone can achieve their dream and desired level of skill in their chosen passion, and to show what our imagination is capable of. If i fail, it would appear i was wrong, everything i will have so desperately tried to work for and achieve will have been for nothing, and i will accept Nothing but Oblivion for my pathetic failure.
“Success or Death” - ?
"Death before Dishonor" - ?
"Victory or Death" - ?
"Do or die" - ?
"To the bitter end" - ?
"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees" - Emiliano Zapata
Any lack of "activity" or lapses of time between uploading i sincerely apologize for, it is not because i "forgot/stopped" or anything of the sort. It is because everyday for an amount of time i devote/commit to/study from books/tutorials/practice, and any free/or reasonably affordable resource i can get my hands on every day whenever i have time and i prefer not to upload significant amounts of trash until things become presentable or acceptably developed.
I am unlikely to find a way to afford any of these courses/training that teach good/decent illustration/painting skills as i am not so lucky and privileged as so many others apparently are, so i am left to struggle in "self-taught" efforts and flounder about in the dirt of pointless suffering and death validating mediocrity. I desire to get into Entertainment design training/classes- (Environments+Character design/Concept Art), but even then if it didn't result in a employed profession- i just wanted to reach a acceptable level of skill/ability in concept art illustration/painting in my personal work itself. Whether it is self taught or through educated training does not matter to me, i only wish to get to an acceptable level of skill in my own work regardless of whether it is through personal discipline/study or through education/training.
It is an ever apparent fact that for some, achieving one's dream is impossible. Each person is entitled to the right to choose how to live or end their life as they see fit, for whatever reason they decide. It is an undeniable fact that death is more honorable and sensible than the humiliation, defeat, stagnancy, suffering and pointlessness of failure and mediocrity.
"A subhuman pathetic coward tolerates or accepts a life of mediocrity/failure in suffering or stagnancy, A decent person chooses death" - P.S.C
Favorite/Admired styles/Desperately trying to learn: [Environment design] [Character Design] [Concept Art] ([Manga]
---The Inability to improve debilitating, The result of artistic attempts humiliating, The admiration of others work decimating.
---Some writers and artists create other worlds in their work because they are disgusted by the one that they live in.
“A man sometimes devotes his life to a desire which he is not sure will ever be fulfilled. Those who laugh at this folly are, after all, no more than mere spectators of life" - Ryunosuke Akutagawa
“I could wish for nothing more than to die for a childish dream in which I truly believed" - Ryunosuke Akutagawa
"I have offended God and mankind because my work didn't reach the quality it should have." - Leonardo da Vinci
"I try to be genuinely cheerful, but my life is all so threatened at the very root, and my steps are wavering" - Vincent van gogh
“I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process.” - Vincent Van Gogh
"Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism" - Donald Kaul
"Without dreams we are nothing, We might as well be dead" - ?
"I would give the world to embody one half the ideas afloat in my imagination" - Edgar Allan Poe
Advocate of Anti-Psychiatry (among other things as well) and am strictly against the labeling or deeming of anyone as "mentally ill". People have a right to their own mind and body. "Psychiatry" is a Subhuman Atrocity. "Mental illness" Does not exist and is nothing but a pathetic mythical excuse used by bigots to discriminate against anyone they think of as "diseased" or when someone doesn't fit their control fetish guidelines of conformity and "not normal". Involuntarily detaining someone against their will under the guise of "treatment" is an atrocity, you don't get to identify others as "diseased".
Anyone who believes in "Psychiatry" "Psychology" or "Mental illness" is a disgusting worthless pathetic Subhuman bigot.
Advocate of Anti-Psychology
Advocate of Pro Suicide.
Advocate of the Right to die belief for all individuals.