“What am I in the eyes of most people — a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person — somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then — even if that were absolutely true, then I should one day like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart." - Vincent Van Gogh|
My "dream" is to become a Concept Artist, to be able to portray Character/Environment design illustrations and paintings of an at-least acceptable/honed skill/level. Works of such level/skill that will invoke hope in those that come after me (if i succeed) that they can do the same an attain their own hopes as well. Art is my Road to Damascus.
In this bloody struggle, if i succeed, My Hope and Goal is to inspire others that achieving their dream is possible, if even a subhuman failure as myself manages to succeed, to give the hope to others that i myself have lacked. I am committed to showing that anyone can achieve their dream and desired level of skill in their chosen passion, and to show what our imagination is capable of. I hope to permanently demolish the idea of "you have to be born with it to be good at something" and turn it into a myth. I hope to show that it is possible to ascend beyond mediocrity through effort and achieve admirable skill. If i fail, it would appear i was wrong, everything i will have so desperately tried to work for and achieve will have been for nothing, and i will accept Nothing but Oblivion as punishment for my pathetic humiliating mediocrity/failure.
Favorite/Admired styles/Desperately trying to learn: [Traditional Drawing] [Digital painting] [Environment design] [Character Design] [Concept Art] (interested in learning manga art on the side as a secondary style out of interest/appreciation for that style)
"Do or die" - ?
“Success or Death” - ?
"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees" - Emiliano Zapata
"Death before Dishonor" - ?
"Victory or Death" - ?
"To the bitter end" - ?
I hope to someday work as a Concept artist in the game industry, whether that shall come to pass remains to be seen. Though no form of "employment" or "career" is my reason or ultimate goal, which actually is just to hone my craft in this and attain an acceptable skill set/level for fulfillment, not fame.
Any lack of "activity" or lapses of time between uploading i sincerely apologize for, it is not because i "forgot/stopped" or anything of the sort. It is because everyday for an amount of time i am studying from any free/or reasonably affordable resource i can get my hands on every day whenever i have time desperately trying to better myself and i prefer not to waste my own or others time by uploading excessively mediocre trash, until my skill hopefully becomes presentable or acceptably developed.
I am unlikely to find a way to afford any of these courses/training/workshops or schools that teach amazing illustration/painting skills that would be crucial in becoming adequate in the skills/fundamentals needed for concept art (or almost any other style), I shall dearly hope to one day be able to be in one of them, like the fortunate people who are able to take part in them. But i am left to struggle in "self-taught" efforts and flounder about in the dirt of pointless suffering and death validating mediocrity.
It is an ever apparent fact that for some, achieving one's dream is impossible. Each person is entitled to the right to choose how to live or end their life as they see fit, for whatever reason they decide. It is an undeniable fact that death is more honorable and sensible than the humiliation, defeat, stagnancy, suffering and pointlessness of failure and mediocrity.
"A subhuman pathetic coward tolerates or accepts a life of the suffering of mediocrity/failure, A decent person chooses death" - P.S.C
---The Inability to improve debilitating, The result of artistic attempts humiliating, The admiration of others work decimating.
---Some writers and artists create other worlds in their work because they are disgusted by the one that they live in.
“A man sometimes devotes his life to a desire which he is not sure will ever be fulfilled. Those who laugh at this folly are, after all, no more than mere spectators of life" - Ryunosuke Akutagawa
“I could wish for nothing more than to die for a childish dream in which I truly believed" - Ryunosuke Akutagawa
"I have offended God and mankind because my work didn't reach the quality it should have." - Leonardo da Vinci
“I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process.” - Vincent Van Gogh
"Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism" - Donald Kaul
"Without dreams we are nothing, We might as well be dead" - ?
Advocate of Anti-Psychiatry (among other things as well) and am strictly against the labeling or deeming of anyone as "mentally ill". People have a right to their own mind and body. "Psychiatry" is a Subhuman cult of Atrocity. "Mental illness" Does not exist and is nothing but a pathetic mythical excuse used by bigots to discriminate against anyone they think of as "diseased" or when someone doesn't fit their control fetish guidelines of conformity and "not normal". Involuntarily detaining someone against their will under the guise of "treatment" is an atrocity, you don't get to identify others as "diseased".
Anyone who believes in "Psychiatry" "Psychology" or "Mental illness" is a disgusting worthless pathetic Subhuman bigot worthy of nothing but being put in a gas chamber.
Advocate of Anti-Psychology
Advocate of Pro Suicide.
Advocate of the Right to die belief for all individuals.