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About Varied / Artist SuicidalArtist00024/Male/Unknown Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Artist | Varied
My goal is to become a Concept Artist in the fantasy/sci-fi art genres, to be able to portray Character/Environment design Digital paintings and Traditional illustrations of an at-least acceptable/honed skill/level.

I have much work to do as i have little or no natural aptitude for the craft and use what resources i can for studying/practice.

I sincerely wish the best of luck to every/any person in achieving/obtaining whatever it is they're after or want in their life, and feel entirely free to message me on anything and i will respond when and if i can.

I aspire to someday work as a Concept artist (once i've gotten to a good enough skill, if ever, ha...) in the game industry but in the end would work in all relative areas such as film/animation/literature cover work/graphic novels/etc or even freelance.

I am in the process of making plans for different training/or school options,
until then, i study on my own time with whatever resource i can find.
"When it becomes evident and apparent that the aspired ability or craft you desperately wanted more than anything else is out of your reach and unachievable while others achieve it as if magically, death and suicide are your dearest companions" - Abel and the talking tree of witherbee hollow

"I will place all of my effort, commitment, and devotion to achieving skill in this craft, but if even my most exhaustive attempts are met with hopeless failure while others enjoy such skill and majesty, i shall lie in wait in the beaches of black ash as oblivion washes over me and takes me under her waters" - Ishiopent necro

"As life in the world around you becomes too pointless and pathetic to tolerate, you are blessed with the freedom to light yourself afire with a match and remove yourself from it" - Carthia folie

“Life’s greatest gift is the freedom it leaves you to step out of it whenever you choose.”
― André Breton

“A man devoid of hope and conscious of being so has ceased to belong to the future.”
― Albert Camus

“It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.” - Anne Frank

“We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming - well, that’s like saying you can never change your fate.”
― Amy Tan, The Hundred Secret Senses

“A man sometimes devotes his life to a desire which he is not sure will ever be fulfilled. Those who laugh at this folly are, after all, no more than mere spectators of life" - Ryunosuke Akutagawa

“I could wish for nothing more than to die for a childish dream in which I truly believed" - Ryunosuke Akutagawa
Advocate of Anti-Psychiatry and am strictly against the labeling or deeming of anyone as "mentally ill". People have a right to their own mind and body. "Psychiatry" is a Subhuman cult of Atrocity. "Mental illness" Does not exist and is nothing but a pathetic mythical excuse used by delusional whiners to discriminate against anyone they think of as "diseased" or when someone doesn't fit their control fetish guidelines of biased social ideals and "not normal". Involuntarily detaining someone against their will under the guise of "treatment" is an atrocity, you don't get to identify others as "diseased".
Anyone who believes in "Psychiatry" "Psychology" "Suicide prevention/Involuntary force" or "Mental illness" is a childish worthless pathetic Subhuman bigot worthy of nothing but being put in a gas chamber.
Advocate of Anti-Psychology
Advocate of Pro Suicide.
Advocate of the Right to die belief for all individuals.


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Sinroock Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Hey, thanks for the fave on one of my OC's. If you like what I'm doing and want to see more, feel free to click that "watch" button on my profile page :iconnarusmileplz:
dr8gonwolf666 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student
hmm... I agree with you about mental illness. I don't really believe in madness. No worries, I think you'll be able to reach your goal and get that level of skill :) I am self taught and started out with nothing either. Thanks for faving, btw.
SuicidalArtist000 Featured By Owner Edited Oct 23, 2014   General Artist
Sorry for the very late and overdue reply.  I appreciate the sentiment, though i must note on the matter of human nature and individuals experiences and interpretations,
that "madness"---
like love, sadness, happiness, fulfillment, and all other forms of human emotion and experience,
---is just another form of experience/sensation interpreted by the person based on their surroundings, but under all aspects of human nature/individuality, it is indeed, and never will be, a "disease" or "illness" such as delusional whiners with a dictatorial control fetish and childish discriminatory attitude will try to claim in their subhuman lust for control/conformity/domination over others.

which can be an expression of philosophical realization that renunciates/refuses the current surroundings/conditions that the person exists in, or even an expression of the astonishing pain one may experience when they are dominated by this life's miseries/sufferings,
---is just another emotion, that we under the human condition are subject to, for some it is the final ultimatum in a stagnant crushing world which the person cannot tolerate existing in, and thus madness serves as the overflowing "ejaculation" of emotional/mind release the person's being needs as a consequence of existence in the world or the situation, even if it ends in voluntary death, which the realizations of "madness" find to be preferable in the face of a stagnant, miserable, and pointless existence.

But yes, as far as self taught goes, i use (though it would appear futilely hopeless) as much as possible alongside collected books/tutorials/etc, until hopefully i find a program/training/school/etc that i can afford.

I am currently looking into CGMA as a strong possibility. (unfortunately it's online only, but the total cost of all the courses added up individually in the end comes out to about only around $20,000, in comparison to many other places, some live campuses, that would cost $40,000 and above)

I would probably benefit in learning easier in a live campus instructor environment, but most of the live campuses are over $40,000, force irrelevant wasteful "academics", and only have seemingly a few relevant courses to entertainment design, let alone concept art.  While CGMA, (though unfortunately online only) is both only around $20,000, and it's course layout goes from very basic fundamental learning all the way through to advanced character/environment design skill learning.
dr8gonwolf666 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2014  Student
Thanks for this thoughtful reply and i agree with you about the madness part. Have you ever read Paulo Coelho's book Veronika Decides to Die? It addresses a lot of things you've mentioned above.
SuicidalArtist000 Featured By Owner Edited Oct 24, 2014   General Artist
I have not read it, but i have heard of it.  I think i once saw a trailer for a movie of it.

I do however, remember long ago reading the plot summary overview of it online, and found the story ending to be highly grotesque, in the form of it being grossly biased towards "psychiatry" getting it's way and having captured the main character and then dominated the main character into submission and unrealistically "changing her" to like something she realistically hates.

I wouldn't care much to read through the book itself or the movie due to the largely morbid content of "psychiatry" and it's childish supremacy dictatorial control fetish power over the people being detained by it and childishly/discriminatingly labeled "diseased".
Natsuko-Hiragi Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Professional Photographer
Hey thank you for watching us^^
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SuicidalArtist000 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014   General Artist
Because their spoiled control fetish dictates they must scream with tears of rage/discrimination whenever someone disagrees with their bigoted practice.
I couldn't care less for "Scientology" but "psychiatry"/"mental illness" control fetish freaks still usually try to claim that i'm a scientologist as an excuse for their failing bigotry.
Scientology may try to hold aspects of Anti psychiatry, but they are two different things, and only whiny spoiled "psychiatry"/"mental health/illness" complainers try to associate the two as being the same.
z-vav Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanx 4 the :+fav: :)
Pintoro Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014
Thanks for the fave!
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